Grandparents have a habit of pampering their grandkids. No matter how strict they were with their kids, they make for all those moments by showering their grandkids with all the love. At most times, this love comes in the form of gifts. However, every parent has a different approach to parenting, but no matter your approach, there are rules. Rules that grandparents tend to break.
Society is in continuous change; there is no permanent stability to anything. The behavior which might have been acceptable in the eighties may not be so okay now. No good parent or grandparent would indeed want to hurt their child intentionally or unintentionally, but some things slip and may, later on, be an issue. So to be a great grandparent and maintain a happy, healthy relationship with your grandchild, you might need to break away from a few habits first.
In this article, you will read about eight things grandparents should avoid doing.
Break The Rules
Children think that rules are useless and are no good, but that is not true. Rules are necessary to instill a sense of discipline into a child’s life at an early age. According to the parenting style, they follow all parents from rules that their children are supposed to follow. However, the grandparents do not always uphold these rules. As soon as the parents turn their back, the grandparents sometimes break these rules.
Understandably, grandparents want to make the grandchild happy, and it might seem to be harmless fun. What might be happening unconsciously is that you undermine the parents’ authority, which may lead to future conflict. So next time you let the kid stay up late after bedtime, think, is it worth it?
Surprises are great, but it’s not always a great idea to give children big gifts in size and value. Children have a habit of turning to grandparents when they want to get a certain thing. This habit may not be the best to indulge in. So before you buy a big surprise present such as a pet or an iPad for your grandchild, ask the parents if they think it is fine. But surprise gifts indeed are the best so stick to small and inexpensive gifts. This way, the child learns to appreciate the gift for its sentiment rather than the value.
Focus On Appearance
Every child is beautiful in the eyes of the parents and grandparents especially get carried away with their comments. No matter how cute or beautiful your grandchild is, make sure you do not focus entirely on looks. Balance out your compliments by commenting on other aspects apart from looks. Also, do not compliment your child for the bare minimum. Give out compliments when they deserve it.
As a grandparent, you may say something about the weight, which may seem like a normal conversation; however, you might want to avoid it. If the parent asks you for advice or brings the topic up, it is fine, but don’t touch that subject until done by the parents.
Ignore Dietary Rules
Grandparents love feeding their grandchild and do not always understand dietary restrictions and disregard such food-related rules. Remember, you want to have a healthy relationship with your grandchild and your child, so it is important to uphold their authority where the kids are concerned.
Demand Clean Plates
You indeed want the child to understand the value of food. Both parents and grandparents make it their responsibility to instill this habit into the child. However, grandparents and doting parents have a habit of serving more than what the kid has asked for. Some days, the child might clean the plate on your insistence, but there might be times when they don’t feel like it. Plus, this habit may also lead to overeating which is not something you want to make a habit of.
Provide An Endless Supply Of Treats
Kids associate their grandparents’ place with fun and all things good. Treats, sweets, and food are how grandparents show their love for their grandchild, but while showing love isn’t bad, it is important to be responsible. It is also a way to support your child’s parenting style and rules. If the kid is getting tons of treats and goods from their grandparents’ house, it might be hard for the parent to enforce healthy eating habits at home.
Request More Grandchildren
Becoming a grandparent is a great feeling but requesting more grandchildren from your child is not a way to go about things. If your child is ready to have a baby, they eventually will, but you asking them multiple times over the holidays and dining table isn’t speed up the process. Also, there might be various reasons why your child is not ready to get pregnant for a second time; it may be financial, emotional, or simply because they don’t want to. So be understanding and support your child with whatever they decide.
Those were eight things that grandparents should avoid to ensure a healthy relationship with the child and the grandchild. It can be hard being a grandparent and not spoiling your grandchild, especially if you don’t see them often. But it is important to respect the boundaries and wishes of the parents.